E28: Proving Your Worth: How Small Choices Shape How You See Yourself - with Ryan Bush
Why Small Choices (and Actions) Matter More Than You Think
We often imagine personal growth as a massive transformation — a career change, a big win, a life-altering epiphany. But according to Ryan Bush, real transformation is quieter: it happens in the tiny, everyday choices we make - choices that create a person we respect.
Ryan calls this approach psychitecture — intentionally designing the patterns of thought and action that shape our self-perception. His philosophy flips the script on self-esteem: instead of waiting for external approval, we build worthiness by exercising personal virtues and doing what we find admirable.
Key Insights from Ryan’s Perspective
Self-respect is earned daily. How you see yourself is shaped by the promises you keep — or break — to yourself.
Virtues regulate happiness. Qualities like honesty, courage, and discipline don’t just make you a better person; they make you a happier one.
Struggle fuels growth. Hardship, rather than something to avoid, can be a pathway to deeper fulfillment and long-term happiness.
Neurodiversity is a gift. Ryan views his Autism diagnosis as a unique advantage, offering rare perspectives and insights others might overlook.
Why This Matters
We live in a world obsessed with doing — chasing milestones, checking boxes, proving ourselves worthy. Ryan’s work challenges us to shift toward being: living in alignment with virtues that matter to us personally, rather than those society prescribes. This approach not only fosters self-respect but also lightens anxiety and depression by putting the power for change back in our own hands.
Try This at Home: The Admiration Audit
Write down three traits you admire most in others (e.g., honesty, kindness, discipline).
Ask yourself: Am I living in a way that demonstrates these traits?
Identify one small daily action that aligns with each trait. (Example: If you value kindness, be kind to someone today.)
Check in weekly: How do these actions shift your mood or sense of self-worth over time?
The takeaway: The small, intentional choices we make daily don’t just shape our habits — they shape who we believe we are. By living out the virtues we admire, we build a self we respect, one choice at a time.
To learn more about Ryan Bush and Designing the Mind, visit his website.