E27: Break the Pattern: A New Approach to Holiday Gatherings
How to Create More Joy (and Less Stress) at Holiday Gatherings
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything — the love and the tension, the joy and the exhaustion. For many of us, family gatherings follow the same script every year: the same conflicts, the same roles we play, and the same quiet hopes that maybe this year will feel different.
The good news? It can be different — if we choose to break the pattern.
Why Holiday Gatherings Can Feel So Hard
Unrealistic expectations: We put pressure on ourselves (and others) for everything to be perfect.
Old family dynamics: Longstanding roles and unresolved conflicts tend to resurface.
Overcommitment: Trying to do everything for everyone leaves little room to relax and enjoy the moment.
How to Break the Pattern
Shift from control to curiosity: Instead of trying to manage every detail — or every person — get curious about what might happen if you let go a little.
Focus on gratitude and presence: Simple practices like making eye contact or expressing appreciation can change the tone of an entire gathering.
Redefine traditions: Create rituals that prioritize connection, like volunteering together or sharing stories instead of just exchanging gifts.
Honor love languages: Pay attention to how each person gives and receives love — it makes your gestures feel more meaningful.
Try This at Home: The Pre-Gathering Reset
Visualize the best outcome: What do you want to feel leaving the gathering? Calm? Connected? Joyful?
Set one simple intention: (e.g., “I will look for moments to express gratitude” or “I will let small things go”).
Choose one mindful practice: Make eye contact during conversations, take deep breaths before reacting, or step outside for a brief reset if things get tense.
The takeaway: You can’t control everything about holiday gatherings, but you can control how you show up. By breaking old patterns and focusing on presence, gratitude, and connection, you can create space for new, meaningful memories — this year and every year after.