#2 Anxiety: It’s Not Who You Are — It’s Something You Experience
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
We all feel it. The tightness in your chest. The loop of what ifs that won’t slow down. The sense that something might go wrong—so your mind starts scanning, predicting, preparing. That’s anxiety. And if it feels more present than it used to, you’re far from alone.
In this session, we explore anxiety from a different angle—not as a flaw or a fixed trait, but as a signal. A state. Sometimes even a habit. Something you can notice, question, and gently shift.
What follows are a few key insights, along with practical ways to relate to anxiety with more awareness and compassion.
Anxiety Is a Symptom—Not a Personality Trait
Many people don’t talk about anxiety as something they have—they talk about it as something they are. Over time, that subtle language shift can turn a temporary experience into a permanent identity.
Anxiety has become increasingly common in a fast, hyper-connected, unpredictable world. Performance pressure, comparison, uncertainty, and constant stimulation all contribute. But anxiety isn’t who you are—it’s how your system is responding to how a situation is being interpreted.
Two people can face the same situation and have completely different internal reactions. The difference isn’t the trigger—it’s the story being told about it.
🌀 Try this:
When anxiety shows up, instead of saying “I’m anxious,” try saying, “I’m noticing some anxiety here.” See if that small shift creates even a bit of space between you and the feeling.
Anxiety Is Often Rooted in a Fear of Losing Control
Anxiety frequently flares when control feels threatened—when outcomes are uncertain and the mind fills in worst-case scenarios.
One way of working with this is by gently facing those fears rather than avoiding them. When you stop pushing against uncertainty and start acknowledging your own resilience, anxiety often loses some of its grip. Not because the fear disappears—but because you trust yourself to cope if something difficult were to happen.
🌀 Try this:
List a few situations that commonly trigger anxiety. For each one, ask:
What am I afraid will happen?
If it did happen, how could I handle it?
Has this fear actually come true before?
You’re not trying to eliminate fear—just understand it.
You Can Create Space Between Trigger and Response
Anxiety often feels automatic, but there’s usually a brief moment—sometimes just a breath—between what happens and how you respond. That pause is where choice lives.
When anxiety starts to rise, pausing allows you to check in rather than react on autopilot. It turns anxiety from something that hijacks you into something you can work with.
🌀 Try this:
Choose one situation this week that usually triggers anxiety. When it starts to unfold:
Pause for a single breath
Ask yourself what the anxiety is trying to do for you
Decide how you actually want to respond
Even a small pause can shift the experience.
Most Worries Never Actually Happen
A large portion of anxious thinking is spent rehearsing futures that never arrive. We imagine worst-case scenarios, brace for disappointment, and expend enormous energy on outcomes that don’t materialize.
That doesn’t mean fears are irrational—it means they’re often unnecessary. And even when something does go wrong, anxiety rarely prevents it. It usually just exhausts us ahead of time.
🌀 Try this:
Think of something you’ve worried about for months. Ask:
Did the worst-case scenario happen?
If it didn’t, what did anxiety actually do for me?
Let the answer inform how much weight you give that worry going forward.
You Can Practice Calm Without Letting Anxiety Take the Wheel
Calm doesn’t always come from solving the problem. Sometimes it comes from anchoring yourself to something real and present—one clear point of focus that reminds your nervous system you’re safe.
This anchor can be physical, sensory, or verbal. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to keep it from driving.
🌀 Try this:
Choose a personal grounding anchor you can return to when anxiety rises, such as:
A steady breath
A reassuring phrase like “I am safe right now” or “I can handle this”
Naming five things you can see or feel
Practice using it even when anxiety is mild, so it’s available when you need it most.
Final Reflection: Let Anxiety Inform—Not Control
Anxiety isn’t your identity. It’s information.
Sometimes it’s pointing to a story that needs revisiting. Sometimes it’s your mind trying to protect you with outdated assumptions. When you stop fighting anxiety or feeding it, you can begin to work with it.
The goal isn’t to never feel anxious. It’s to relate to anxiety in a way that gives you more choice, more clarity, and more ease.
Want to Go a Little Deeper?
🧪 Experiment 1:
Pick one recurring trigger and try responding differently—create space between stimulus and reaction.
🧘♀️ Experiment 2:
Do a brief daily anxiety check-in:
What am I anxious about right now? Is it real, or imagined?
📓 Experiment 3:
Write a letter to your anxiety. Ask what it’s trying to protect you from. Then respond with compassion and leadership.